When I started writing on this blog, it wasn't about creating a following or anything of the sort. I found that I had so many views and thoughts floating around in my mind and wanted an outlet for them. I have really enjoyed the liberation that writing has offered me and though my posts tend to be sporadic, they do come from a sincere place.
I have been neglecting this blog recently and I expect that this will be the case for a bit longer. Not long ago I made a somewhat calculated and somewhat spontaneous move to London. I decided that there were a few dreams I wanted to pursue and there's no time like the present! It is taking me a while to get settled into my new city and I really haven't been able to get back into writing mode yet.
I appreciate all the e-mails I have received and I'm somewhat touched to know that people find meaning in my thoughts. So for now I'm on a bit of a break but I do promise that I shall return.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
A penny for my thought but you can't afford my soul
I haven't written anything for a while since I have been so preoccupied with my move. Over the past month I have had the opportunity to reflect on some things and to see life through the eyes of others. I have reaffirmed my thoughts on some issues and confirmed one basic principle - 'only you can determine who and what will make you happy'.
It is amazing how we sometimes settle for far less than we deserve. We often claim to be worth a Mercedes but will quite happily take up occupancy in the first Honda that comes along. When we allow ourselves to be talked about, walked on and overlooked, do we really believe that one day we will command respect? While I totally understand that not everyone has the same strength to deal with every situation, one thing we should have is common sense.
A friend once said to me, and I quite happily validate that "we always know how to find a way to excel at educational and vocational stuff but when it comes to love and life decisions our stupidity shines". So are we really the master of our own fate, or are we willing to be pawns in someone else's game? At the end of the day can we really say that we love ourselves or are we so desperate to feel loved? If we're not truly happy then is there really a point?
I know everyone must make their own decisions and then walk the road they choose. It is important however to remember that even when torn and tattered, broken and frail, our soul is all we really own. No wo/man can break us down when we know our worth. So always remember that "People only pay the asking price" and even cheap hoes rarely give discounts.
It is amazing how we sometimes settle for far less than we deserve. We often claim to be worth a Mercedes but will quite happily take up occupancy in the first Honda that comes along. When we allow ourselves to be talked about, walked on and overlooked, do we really believe that one day we will command respect? While I totally understand that not everyone has the same strength to deal with every situation, one thing we should have is common sense.
A friend once said to me, and I quite happily validate that "we always know how to find a way to excel at educational and vocational stuff but when it comes to love and life decisions our stupidity shines". So are we really the master of our own fate, or are we willing to be pawns in someone else's game? At the end of the day can we really say that we love ourselves or are we so desperate to feel loved? If we're not truly happy then is there really a point?
I know everyone must make their own decisions and then walk the road they choose. It is important however to remember that even when torn and tattered, broken and frail, our soul is all we really own. No wo/man can break us down when we know our worth. So always remember that "People only pay the asking price" and even cheap hoes rarely give discounts.
Friday, February 8, 2008
I regret not realizing this sooner
One of the most difficult emotions for most people to get over is regret. I found myself wading through a mental pool of reflection today. Though I had some smile filled moments, I also had a few pauses for regret. I regretted the times I was naive in the face of blatantly obvious circumstances. I regretted coming into contact with some people and letting go of others. I regretted missed opportunities and opportunities I wished I had missed.
Amidst my melancholy memorial session, I realized I was seeing things all wrong. Regret is a dangerous emotion that should not be embraced but should be studied and understood.
As a child, when learning to walk we all stumbled and fell a few times, but it was that falling that taught us we were doing it the wrong way. My regrets are not regrets, they are lessons I had to learn. I read somewhere that we don't remember what we are taught, we remember what we learn. If this is true then it would explain why it is that no matter how many times we are warned, we still make mistakes then wish we had listened.
The truth is that I needed to be naive so I would know the value of trusting my own instincts; I needed to encounter undesirable people so I would be able to properly judge character. I needed to lose a few meaningful persons so I could learn to appreciate the ones that are still a part of my life. I needed to miss opportunities so I would take advantage of the others to come.
So though I regret knowing that there are more regrets to come, I do know that I will embrace every lesson it brings my way.
Amidst my melancholy memorial session, I realized I was seeing things all wrong. Regret is a dangerous emotion that should not be embraced but should be studied and understood.
As a child, when learning to walk we all stumbled and fell a few times, but it was that falling that taught us we were doing it the wrong way. My regrets are not regrets, they are lessons I had to learn. I read somewhere that we don't remember what we are taught, we remember what we learn. If this is true then it would explain why it is that no matter how many times we are warned, we still make mistakes then wish we had listened.
The truth is that I needed to be naive so I would know the value of trusting my own instincts; I needed to encounter undesirable people so I would be able to properly judge character. I needed to lose a few meaningful persons so I could learn to appreciate the ones that are still a part of my life. I needed to miss opportunities so I would take advantage of the others to come.
So though I regret knowing that there are more regrets to come, I do know that I will embrace every lesson it brings my way.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Let go and live
Letting go is not giving up, rather it is holding on. Holding on to sanity and reality, realizing that life goes on and there are some things and people we cannot change. Letting go is an art that many people never learn to perfect, never learn to utilize and always come to appreciate. Letting go is not always the most favourable decision, but is usually the best one.
By letting go of wayward friendships, you are not are not bailing out on a friend, you are allowing yourself to know when you need better friends.
By letting go of mistrusted lovers, you are not running away from committment, you are utilizing common sense to know to whom you should commit.
By letting go of your problems, you are not a quitter, you just appreciate that there are other priorities that require your focus.
By (sensibly) letting go of inhabitions, you are not becomming wild, you are charting a course towards your own happiness.
By letting go of painful memories, you are not hiding from your past, you are taking bolder steps towards your future.
Let go and let life show you why it was so important for you to let go when you did.
By letting go of wayward friendships, you are not are not bailing out on a friend, you are allowing yourself to know when you need better friends.
By letting go of mistrusted lovers, you are not running away from committment, you are utilizing common sense to know to whom you should commit.
By letting go of your problems, you are not a quitter, you just appreciate that there are other priorities that require your focus.
By (sensibly) letting go of inhabitions, you are not becomming wild, you are charting a course towards your own happiness.
By letting go of painful memories, you are not hiding from your past, you are taking bolder steps towards your future.
Let go and let life show you why it was so important for you to let go when you did.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
And in this corner...
Many of us, when challenged, prefer to take the 'I'm a lover not a fighter' road. Whether the motivation lies in fear or partiality is something we seldom admit even to ourselves. Of importance however, is that we know when it is necessary to recreate a bar-room scene or simply opt to mount the nearest steed and ride off into the sunset.
Usually I suggest the evening ride since few things are worth the consequence of the fight, I do however believe there are four things worth almost any fight; Principles, Friends, Love and Answers.
Principles are a summary of who we are and what we represent. I fully endorse the adage that 'if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything'. Our refusal to stand for that which we believe lessens our value and importance. One wrecking-ball on a chain, can damage in one hour, that which took one year to build. All it takes however, is one link of that chain to break away from the others therefore rendering the ball useless. Be that link.
It is a common belief that family is more important than friends. I love family dearly but still selectively beg to differ. Family exist whether you are there or not , in contrast friendship exist only when you are. You choose your friends and do so with good reason. If friendship is true, it is worth any fighting. Usually you tend not to be quite sure who your friends are until the time comes for them to prove their status, but once they have it is your responsibility to maintain their worth.
We search for love (even when we pretend to be uninterested) and then when we find it, we usually pretend that it doesn't matter. True love is worth the fighting. True love is not ordinary love, it is the love that knows no questions and holds no doubts. Frequently we try to sculpt ordinary love into true love by hiding from its flaws and beautifying its facade. Only when we are honest with ourselves and honest about our comfort does it become our duty to protect that which makes us content. The secret is knowing when to admit defeat.
People often tell us what they want us to know and not what we want to know. There are times however when we really deserve answers to what we want to know. Armed with persistence we can fight for the knowledge we require. The key is knowing whether we can truly handle the answers we seek. Are you a fighter...can you answer that?
Usually I suggest the evening ride since few things are worth the consequence of the fight, I do however believe there are four things worth almost any fight; Principles, Friends, Love and Answers.
Principles are a summary of who we are and what we represent. I fully endorse the adage that 'if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything'. Our refusal to stand for that which we believe lessens our value and importance. One wrecking-ball on a chain, can damage in one hour, that which took one year to build. All it takes however, is one link of that chain to break away from the others therefore rendering the ball useless. Be that link.
It is a common belief that family is more important than friends. I love family dearly but still selectively beg to differ. Family exist whether you are there or not , in contrast friendship exist only when you are. You choose your friends and do so with good reason. If friendship is true, it is worth any fighting. Usually you tend not to be quite sure who your friends are until the time comes for them to prove their status, but once they have it is your responsibility to maintain their worth.
We search for love (even when we pretend to be uninterested) and then when we find it, we usually pretend that it doesn't matter. True love is worth the fighting. True love is not ordinary love, it is the love that knows no questions and holds no doubts. Frequently we try to sculpt ordinary love into true love by hiding from its flaws and beautifying its facade. Only when we are honest with ourselves and honest about our comfort does it become our duty to protect that which makes us content. The secret is knowing when to admit defeat.
People often tell us what they want us to know and not what we want to know. There are times however when we really deserve answers to what we want to know. Armed with persistence we can fight for the knowledge we require. The key is knowing whether we can truly handle the answers we seek. Are you a fighter...can you answer that?
Saturday, January 19, 2008
The Greatest Gift of All
Many of us, since our age of reason, have been indoctrinated to follow the belief that it is better to give than to receive. We try so hard to adhere to this belief that we learn to suppress our true feelings in order to do what we feel is right. The innate reality is that many of us are dying to be on the receiving end.
We want attention, affection, concern, comfort and to feel validated. We go out of our way to buy someone nice gift just so we can give them a smile and a reminder of their importance to us. We give flowers and other trinkets just so someone else can feel loved and/or appreciated. We give our time just so someone can feel that we are concerned about them. But we often hide taboo feelings and emotions that every time we give and do not receive, we are left feeling deprived and somewhat discontented.
Is it so wrong that we want to receive every now and then? Is it wrong that we get tired of non reciprocated giving? Is it wrong that we want the attention to be on us from time to time? We scream inside when we feel neglected but we continue to give because we've been taught that it is the right thing to do.
I have decided to counter this feeling of emptiness by giving something important to someone important. I have decided to give myself a voice. I have decided to speak up when I feel unappreciated or otherwise discontented. I know all too well that there will be people unable to handle my stance, but here's my gift to them...tolerance, honesty and the option to leave.
We want attention, affection, concern, comfort and to feel validated. We go out of our way to buy someone nice gift just so we can give them a smile and a reminder of their importance to us. We give flowers and other trinkets just so someone else can feel loved and/or appreciated. We give our time just so someone can feel that we are concerned about them. But we often hide taboo feelings and emotions that every time we give and do not receive, we are left feeling deprived and somewhat discontented.
Is it so wrong that we want to receive every now and then? Is it wrong that we get tired of non reciprocated giving? Is it wrong that we want the attention to be on us from time to time? We scream inside when we feel neglected but we continue to give because we've been taught that it is the right thing to do.
I have decided to counter this feeling of emptiness by giving something important to someone important. I have decided to give myself a voice. I have decided to speak up when I feel unappreciated or otherwise discontented. I know all too well that there will be people unable to handle my stance, but here's my gift to them...tolerance, honesty and the option to leave.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Qualifications vs Quality
Every once in a while you come across someone so vile that they make you want to resort to things that should only be confined to the realms of the mind. It is unfortunate when these persons seem to be attracted to front line customer service employment. I am often left pondering whether for these persons, the root of their misguided discontent is; having the job, doing the job or for whom the job is done.
It appears that most of these persons want what they cannot have. It is not that what they want is out of reach (although in all honesty it sometimes is) but rather that most persons are not prepared to do what is necessary to attain it. I could deplete a forest for a list of these persons that feel underpaid, overworked, under-ranked etc.
It amazes me that most (not all) of the persons grumbling about salary and job conditions are that ones that are simply not willing do better. It is said that you should not give a man fish but instead teach him how to fish. This adage however does little for the persistent unqualified complainer who would instantly sell the reel, trade the line and tomorrow request that they be upgraded to beef.
Equally appalling is the person with the degree and the job that never seemed possible. These are the ones with self-imposed cataracts resulting from continuous nasal staring. These are the self-appointed experts on everything yet in reality hold a masters of arrogance, ignorance and combined stupidity.
As amazed as I often am with the persistent unqualified complainer, I can barely find the words to sum mate my regards for the over-educated underdeveloped patron whom never misses the opportunity to display obtuse vocal talent.
It appears that most of these persons want what they cannot have. It is not that what they want is out of reach (although in all honesty it sometimes is) but rather that most persons are not prepared to do what is necessary to attain it. I could deplete a forest for a list of these persons that feel underpaid, overworked, under-ranked etc.
It amazes me that most (not all) of the persons grumbling about salary and job conditions are that ones that are simply not willing do better. It is said that you should not give a man fish but instead teach him how to fish. This adage however does little for the persistent unqualified complainer who would instantly sell the reel, trade the line and tomorrow request that they be upgraded to beef.
Equally appalling is the person with the degree and the job that never seemed possible. These are the ones with self-imposed cataracts resulting from continuous nasal staring. These are the self-appointed experts on everything yet in reality hold a masters of arrogance, ignorance and combined stupidity.
As amazed as I often am with the persistent unqualified complainer, I can barely find the words to sum mate my regards for the over-educated underdeveloped patron whom never misses the opportunity to display obtuse vocal talent.
Friday, January 11, 2008
This year is about me
I have determined that this year will be great. I am committed to my refusal to shed new tears over old griefs. I have devised a basic game plan as to how I will play and although I have appreciate that I will deviate as need be, my happiness will not be detoured.
This year, though I be the captain of my destiny but I will not go down with this ship. A captain's duty is to see that everyone is assisted before assisting him/herself, I however have decided that I will put myself first in every angle of my life. You call it selfish, I call it survival, my happiness will prevail.
This year I refuse to be the aspirin while someone else gets to be the ecstasy. If my number cannot be remembered when its time to have fun, pretend its been changed when its time to share pain and heartache.
This year I have resigned the post of saviour. If I cannot be a part of the entourage during the time of 'ballin' and 'living it up', then I can't throw on my cape and grab my bank card when need comes knocking at the doorstep. Sorry, not this year.
This year I have traded the minivan for a motorcycle, more mileage less riders, and to ride you must sit very close.
This year my heart has been relocated to the palms of my closed hands since I've learnt that wearing it on my sleeve attracts unnecessary attention. My fingers will however remain appropriately spaced to allow generous yet monitored access.
This year I will always remember that the most important priority is me and when in doubt I will take whichever action is necessary to preserve the most important priority.
This year, though I be the captain of my destiny but I will not go down with this ship. A captain's duty is to see that everyone is assisted before assisting him/herself, I however have decided that I will put myself first in every angle of my life. You call it selfish, I call it survival, my happiness will prevail.
This year I refuse to be the aspirin while someone else gets to be the ecstasy. If my number cannot be remembered when its time to have fun, pretend its been changed when its time to share pain and heartache.
This year I have resigned the post of saviour. If I cannot be a part of the entourage during the time of 'ballin' and 'living it up', then I can't throw on my cape and grab my bank card when need comes knocking at the doorstep. Sorry, not this year.
This year I have traded the minivan for a motorcycle, more mileage less riders, and to ride you must sit very close.
This year my heart has been relocated to the palms of my closed hands since I've learnt that wearing it on my sleeve attracts unnecessary attention. My fingers will however remain appropriately spaced to allow generous yet monitored access.
This year I will always remember that the most important priority is me and when in doubt I will take whichever action is necessary to preserve the most important priority.
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