I've been told before that ignorance is bliss and this is an adage to which I have come to subscribe. I've found that although knowledge is power, sometimes its the absence of that knowledge that enables us to live more powerfully.
It is the lack of some knowledge that allows us to trust, love, risk, and live with the blind hope that things will go as we want them to. Spouses put their all into making their relationships work when they believe that it really is working. Add the knowledge of infidelity into the mix and suddenly the relationship is second guessed at every step along the way. Friends confide and rely on the emotional support in those they trust, that is until they suspect that the trust has been compromised.
When we are oblivious to the risks around us we are able to manoeuvre with a priceless confidence that is indescribable. We are able to enjoy life and experience unbridled joy. However the moment the veil is removed exposing the unthinkable, we retreat into our armour protected shells and live only within the confines therein.
So do I want to know that there is a possibility of risk, or that my spouse has drawn the surgical lines on my heart, or that my friends are are tabloid shopping my secrets? Of course I do, after all ignorance may be bliss but after a while bliss can become stupidity!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Forever?
The word 'forever' is an adverb meaning; "without ever ending; eternally" or "continually; incessantly; always". To put it more commonly, forever is for an indefinite period of time.
By not it must be empirically clear to everyone that nothing last forever - everything has an end. Trees are torn down to build homes, storms and fires come along and destroy the homes. We live to a certain age then we die, we obtain wealth then lose it or pass it on. The friendships we enjoy today can be eroded into adversity tomorrow. Bottom line, everything has an end.
If we understand that everything has an end, and we can accept this as a certainty, then why do he have such a difficult time accepting the end. When relationships end, we usually feel that life is over, yet we knew it could not last forever. When our loved ones die, we theatrically express our sadness, yet we knew they could not be with us forever. When our employment comes to an end, we start to distribute blame which is sometimes coupled with rage, even though we knew that it could not last forever. For some reason the end is never easy to accept.
One of the reasons the end is never easy to accept is that its timing often takes us by surprise. The solution to this is to simply live each day to its fullest while preparing for the end. Your job won't last forever, so what did you do with the income you earned yesterday? Your lives and relationships won't last forever, so how many memories are you building today. By enjoying life now and preparing for tomorrow, you give yourself a peace of mind that just might defeat the odds and last forever. The key is not to regret the end, but to make happiness last forever.
By not it must be empirically clear to everyone that nothing last forever - everything has an end. Trees are torn down to build homes, storms and fires come along and destroy the homes. We live to a certain age then we die, we obtain wealth then lose it or pass it on. The friendships we enjoy today can be eroded into adversity tomorrow. Bottom line, everything has an end.
If we understand that everything has an end, and we can accept this as a certainty, then why do he have such a difficult time accepting the end. When relationships end, we usually feel that life is over, yet we knew it could not last forever. When our loved ones die, we theatrically express our sadness, yet we knew they could not be with us forever. When our employment comes to an end, we start to distribute blame which is sometimes coupled with rage, even though we knew that it could not last forever. For some reason the end is never easy to accept.
One of the reasons the end is never easy to accept is that its timing often takes us by surprise. The solution to this is to simply live each day to its fullest while preparing for the end. Your job won't last forever, so what did you do with the income you earned yesterday? Your lives and relationships won't last forever, so how many memories are you building today. By enjoying life now and preparing for tomorrow, you give yourself a peace of mind that just might defeat the odds and last forever. The key is not to regret the end, but to make happiness last forever.
Are you afraid of the dark?
People fear what they don't understand, hate what they can't conquer, Guess it's just the fury of man...
Those are the slightly altered words from the lyrics of Rap Artist Nas in his song, "Hate me now". Rarely are truer words spoken.
I have come to realize that most of the things I have been afraid of were the things that I did not understand. Afraid to trust, afraid to love, afraid to get close to particular people, afraid of places, afraid of certain things, and the list can go on and on. But once I took the required time to learn about and understand the subject of my fear, I was able to face it and overcome it. The humorous thing is that once we overcome our fears, we often look back and wonder why we were in such bondage in the first place. As far as hate goes, we often hate those things that we can defeat. This transcends into some people hating us when they realize that they cannot break us and they find themselves powerless in our presence. I guess it's only fair to say that in hate there is fear.
But what if all fears are not meant to be faced. Perhaps fear is really just our natural instincts doing their job. Sometimes we are more protected by not overcoming these fears, the result of which is usually undergoing a difficult rebuilding exercise when our the reasons behind our fears are confirmed. Picking ourselves up from drastically traumatic relationships, recovering from excruciating physical injuries or the tender task of reconstructing self-esteem. Tragically, usually when we face our fears only to be left disappointed, we often become as bitter as a rancid lemon, thus giving birth to hate.
How do we handle this? We learn to pick our battles carefully. We learn not to chase our fears but rather to face only those that confront us. We learn to trust ourselves and listen with the correct dosage of heart and mind. We learn that sometimes the best way to face our fears, is to leave them where they are, that is at least until we first understand them.
Those are the slightly altered words from the lyrics of Rap Artist Nas in his song, "Hate me now". Rarely are truer words spoken.
I have come to realize that most of the things I have been afraid of were the things that I did not understand. Afraid to trust, afraid to love, afraid to get close to particular people, afraid of places, afraid of certain things, and the list can go on and on. But once I took the required time to learn about and understand the subject of my fear, I was able to face it and overcome it. The humorous thing is that once we overcome our fears, we often look back and wonder why we were in such bondage in the first place. As far as hate goes, we often hate those things that we can defeat. This transcends into some people hating us when they realize that they cannot break us and they find themselves powerless in our presence. I guess it's only fair to say that in hate there is fear.
But what if all fears are not meant to be faced. Perhaps fear is really just our natural instincts doing their job. Sometimes we are more protected by not overcoming these fears, the result of which is usually undergoing a difficult rebuilding exercise when our the reasons behind our fears are confirmed. Picking ourselves up from drastically traumatic relationships, recovering from excruciating physical injuries or the tender task of reconstructing self-esteem. Tragically, usually when we face our fears only to be left disappointed, we often become as bitter as a rancid lemon, thus giving birth to hate.
How do we handle this? We learn to pick our battles carefully. We learn not to chase our fears but rather to face only those that confront us. We learn to trust ourselves and listen with the correct dosage of heart and mind. We learn that sometimes the best way to face our fears, is to leave them where they are, that is at least until we first understand them.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Karma is a female canine
I don't believe in revenge because I believe in Karma. To borrow from my Buddhist friends, Karma dictates that the actions of someone, determines their own future because all actions have a consequence. To put it in simple form, 'what goes around, comes around'.
I adapted the view of a friend a long time ago that not only does 'what goes around, comes around', but it comes back ten times as hard as it went out.
Yet amidst the somewhat sadistic enjoyment of watching Karma insert her incisors into the gluteus maximus of those who have done us wrong, perhaps we should stop and consider for a second that Karma's journey may not be complete.
I suppose the true question goes toward whose moral yardstick should we measure our deeds, and whose scale upon should we weigh the compensation therefor. This surely causes the path we walk appear to be more like a tightrope.
Am I wrong for enjoying the pain of my 'enemy' even though I may have just been elevated from the receiving side? I remember being told that "an eye for an eye will leave us both blind", however I also know that he who throws the knock-out punch gets to walk away!
I adapted the view of a friend a long time ago that not only does 'what goes around, comes around', but it comes back ten times as hard as it went out.
Yet amidst the somewhat sadistic enjoyment of watching Karma insert her incisors into the gluteus maximus of those who have done us wrong, perhaps we should stop and consider for a second that Karma's journey may not be complete.
I suppose the true question goes toward whose moral yardstick should we measure our deeds, and whose scale upon should we weigh the compensation therefor. This surely causes the path we walk appear to be more like a tightrope.
Am I wrong for enjoying the pain of my 'enemy' even though I may have just been elevated from the receiving side? I remember being told that "an eye for an eye will leave us both blind", however I also know that he who throws the knock-out punch gets to walk away!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
There is a very thin line between self-esteem and self-denial that we trod each day. We sometimes convince ourselves that we are better at any and everything we do than anyone else can ever be. We hold our heads up so high some times that we expose our innermost thoughts through the opening of our noses. The truth is that most of the time we couldn't be further from the truth.
We usually tend to be very critical of others and refuse to acknowledge that whatever they are doing is ten times the job we ever could. We scold athletes that didn't measure up, ridicule television personalities for grammatical slips and even belittle celebrity aesthetics.
But how often do we look into the mirror and acknowledge exactly what is there. Maybe I do have a pimple that prefers to migrate than vacate. Maybe my singing voice won't win me an award but will make my shower more enjoyable. Maybe swimsuit season does make me cringe, and I won't even attempt a 400 metre dash. Maybe the music doesn't stop when I walk into the club. Maybe I'm just me.
But being me isn't a bad thing. My thoughts, my views, my experiences, my dilemmas, my moods, my style, my charisma all can never be replaced. I know that there are many that can run faster, jump higher, swim further than I can, but it matters not to me because whatever I do is done the way I do it.
So when I look into the mirror I will not criticise, I will not compare and most importantly I will not tell a lie because believe it or not, the worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.
We usually tend to be very critical of others and refuse to acknowledge that whatever they are doing is ten times the job we ever could. We scold athletes that didn't measure up, ridicule television personalities for grammatical slips and even belittle celebrity aesthetics.
But how often do we look into the mirror and acknowledge exactly what is there. Maybe I do have a pimple that prefers to migrate than vacate. Maybe my singing voice won't win me an award but will make my shower more enjoyable. Maybe swimsuit season does make me cringe, and I won't even attempt a 400 metre dash. Maybe the music doesn't stop when I walk into the club. Maybe I'm just me.
But being me isn't a bad thing. My thoughts, my views, my experiences, my dilemmas, my moods, my style, my charisma all can never be replaced. I know that there are many that can run faster, jump higher, swim further than I can, but it matters not to me because whatever I do is done the way I do it.
So when I look into the mirror I will not criticise, I will not compare and most importantly I will not tell a lie because believe it or not, the worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.
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