Forgive Them?

One of my favorite recording artists/lyricists is Lauryn Hill and from time to time I experience situations that make me reflect on some of her songs. One song in particular that stays in my mind is "Forgive them Father", which seems so true to life. Some of the lyrics (not the entire song, just excerpts) are:

Forgive Them Father (by Lauryn Hill)

Beware the false motives of others, Be careful of those who pretend to be brothers, And you never suppose it’s those who are closest to you

They say all the right things to gain their position, Then use your kindness as their ammunition, To shoot you down in the name of ambition

Why every Indian wanna be the chief? Feed a man ’til he’s full and he still want beef, Give me grief, try to tief off my piece, Why for you to increase, I must decrease? If I treat you kindly does it mean that I’m weak?

Like Cain and Abel, Caesar and Brutus, Jesus and Judas, Backstabbers do this

It took me a little while to discover, Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers, Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves

A friend once said, and I found to be true, That everyday people, they lie to God too, So what makes you think, that they won’t lie to you

Now I'm sure there are so many people that can relate to this. It may be the best friend that slept with your partner, the colleague that screwed you over to get a promotion, the classmate that copied your assignment and expanded on it so they could do better than you, and the list goes on.

I have experienced most of it and I have come to realize that what doesn't kill me will definitely make me stronger. Pain hurts only as long as it lasts, then you pick yourself up from your crying spot, strategize and move on. That is if you are wise and intend to keep afloat in this sea called life.

Sometimes moving on is not as easy as it sounds. Its difficult, on a daily basis, to see those that hurt us and still keep a smile on our faces. It becomes even more difficult when the one that caused the pain is one that we care for (Platonic or otherwise). As a result we try to forgive and forget.

I guess I'm one of those people that struggles with this. I have a tendency to forgive people but not forget. Don't get me wrong, I don't travel through life with a suitcase full of grudges, but my response to hurt is simply to withdraw, completely.

Over the years I've lost many friends to this and I sometimes wonder if I am being too harsh and somehow cheating myself out of some wonderful experiences. Maybe if I gave more second chances my life would reap the rewards of stronger friendships. Maybe I would be happier and more popular. Maybe my life would be more fulfilling. And then again maybe I would just be a fool!

I do know one thing for sure; life is a jungle and for the lion to remain king he cannot stand side by side with the hyena.