There are many people I know that are close to me in some way or another. I'm met many people through my career, through my social activities, through school etc. Many people refer to me as their friend and I guess I tend to do the same. Truth is that I really don't have many friends. Not that this in any way bothers me, in fact I somehow like things this way.
A dictionary defined the word friend to me as 'a favored companion'. Now while on one hand I do have some companions, the truth is that not all of them are favored. There are some that I would trust to have a getaway car waiting for me if I robbed a bank, and then there are some that I would rather call a taxi than rely on.
There are some people that have been in my life for as long as I can remember, and yet in a second I would care to forget. On the other hand there are some that I've only known for as long as my last haircut, yet I wouldn't trade for the world.
I separate the persons in my life into three main categories: friends, associates and time-fillers. How do I determine who deserves to be the beneficiary of one of these titles? I devised a strategy a few months ago after some deep thought and meditation. I asked myself a few questions and evaluated the answers. At first this seems simple enough until I gave it some more thought. Here are some examples?
1. If my car stopped working and I had no cash in my pocket, who could I call?
Friends
These are the ones that without a doubt would drop what they were doing to assist me in this regard, even if I needed a ride from the worst battlefield in Iraq: no questions asked.
Associates
These, I know would be more than willing to come to my aid, but only after my provision of a suitable answer to the power question: 'how much gas money am I offering".
Time-fillers
These are the ones that would tell me how they are tied up right now and would like to help but for some reason are unable to. In fact if they even dreamt that I would be calling for their help, they wouldn't have even answered the phone. Nevermind the fact that they have no problem calling me when they are in need.
A dictionary defined the word friend to me as 'a favored companion'. Now while on one hand I do have some companions, the truth is that not all of them are favored. There are some that I would trust to have a getaway car waiting for me if I robbed a bank, and then there are some that I would rather call a taxi than rely on.
There are some people that have been in my life for as long as I can remember, and yet in a second I would care to forget. On the other hand there are some that I've only known for as long as my last haircut, yet I wouldn't trade for the world.
I separate the persons in my life into three main categories: friends, associates and time-fillers. How do I determine who deserves to be the beneficiary of one of these titles? I devised a strategy a few months ago after some deep thought and meditation. I asked myself a few questions and evaluated the answers. At first this seems simple enough until I gave it some more thought. Here are some examples?
1. If my car stopped working and I had no cash in my pocket, who could I call?
Friends
These are the ones that without a doubt would drop what they were doing to assist me in this regard, even if I needed a ride from the worst battlefield in Iraq: no questions asked.
Associates
These, I know would be more than willing to come to my aid, but only after my provision of a suitable answer to the power question: 'how much gas money am I offering".
Time-fillers
These are the ones that would tell me how they are tied up right now and would like to help but for some reason are unable to. In fact if they even dreamt that I would be calling for their help, they wouldn't have even answered the phone. Nevermind the fact that they have no problem calling me when they are in need.
2. If I took a trip to a foreign country and lost all my money, who would I call?
Friends
These only want to know two things: how much do I need to borrow and how do they send it to me.
Associates
In addition to the above questions, these want to know: how soon will they be repaid, am I willing to pay interest on my loan, do I have collateral and am I willing to sign over my first born.
Time-fillers
MMMMM, should I even waste money on the long distance call for these...I somehow doubt it would make sense. I'm likely to hear, "I'm short on cash right now but I'd love to assist if I could".
3. If my house burned down and I lost everything, what would be said?
Friends
"Do you need anything: food, clothes, accommodation, conversation?"
Associates
"I know you will be ok, but call me if you run into any problems"
Time-fillers
"Was that shirt I left at your house also in the fire?"
Don't get me wrong, everyone that is in our lives is there for a purpose. Our friends, associates and time-fillers all have a role to play in making us who we are and developing our characters. Common sense should prevail when we decide who we want to share our inner-most thoughts and secrets with or who we decide to call whenever we need to just have a good chat and laugh.
What is important however it that we must always treat the people around us with a degree of respect because; friends can make the worst enemies, associates sometimes become better friends, and we never know what will become of our time-fillers.
1 comment:
I am a TIME-FILLERRRRR!!!! ;o)
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